Sometimes I feel like I would really like to fall madly in love, get married to the one I love, have kids and blah blah. Sometimes I just think whether there is such thing as true love... not the type of superficial love that alot of ppl have nowadays. Like u are pretty or handsome so i will start liking u though its true that pretty ppl will have more admirers. Whenever someone tells me he likes me I sort distance myself away from them.
Maybe partly because those ppl who like me are not really those that I like. I seldom have a liking for anybody. But if I do it means I really like that person to the point of confessing. But then hor... I got rejected.
I guess sometimes i question whether there is such thing as true love . Why must ppl get married when in the end it leads to unhappiness or seperation. So i think maybe i might not get married. But the future is hard to fathom.
I guess sometimes I have this fear in my heart... My parents relationship have never been too good and up to now i can't forget ... Cause they are memories deeply engraved in my mind underneath that happy or blur face of mine... haha.
From young I would see my parents quarreling and my mother would al
ways be unhappy. Once when my father was drunk I saw him use violence on my mother. We used to stay in china cause my father worked there and he got involved in a extra marital affair. My mum got into depression and brought me back to singapore (I am glad she did). During those time, sometimes i felt very unbearable cause she had really bad mood swings so for a while i chose to shut myself off . I became very withdrawn and quiet.But some ppl brought me out of my shell and helped my mother overcome her depression. Now my mother is really strong... Although my parents have patched back, they still have quarrels here and there, although not as bad as last time.
But sometimes I think if ppl get married out of love (its not a forced marriage) and it still end up this way, what is really the problem. Maybe the idea of true love never existed. it only exists in shows where u see all the romatic stuff happening. I beleive in my heart there was a time my mom and dad really liked or loved each other...
Anywasy i think what i am talking about is really complex and has no solution. I cant prove to anyone that love does not exist. I still do beleive it exists. Just that sometimes my views can be pretty negative. I
certainly hope everyone will be able to find the meaning of love in the life of theirs... haha
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home