I just came back from ktving with my colleagues... I am happy that in the period of 6 months I have grown rather attached to them, slogging in work together, gosspiping (hehe), ups and downs of slowly maturing to adults and seeing the realities of life and working life etc... Outside work we are there for each other too, to grumble about on the phone after work, to go ktving together, to go shopping together, or simply go out for a nice meal... Thank u colleagues... Though i dunno how long we will be together, but at this moment of my life I am grateful for u all for being there in my life.
Working life sort of brings out the best and worst and me... My good qualities are highlighted to me even more. My negative qualities are highlighted even more too...Sometimes a simple mistake u make can seem like a very big thing and it spreads like wildfire, cause there are always ppl gossiping... In working life, though someppl are ignorant, they act as if they know everything. And when some honest pure soul says they dunno, everyone seems to give the very disapproving look like that was the most stupid thing not to know that thing(which most ppl dunno). I guess ppl like to act smart sometimes...
Sometime i feel everyone is a hypocrite at work. Though there are more serious hypocrites in my work place but i can't deny that i am a hypocrite too... As if I never gossiped behind someone else's back before... Though I try not to do it... i WILL try to do it less often. i promise myself.
On the night when i was doing night shift with Xu Yi, she suddenly asked me a question... what i want to do, do i want to major in oncology nursing... To tell the truth I never thought so far... I have been living for the day or maybe the week soi far, and just wishing that one day when i wake it , it will suddenly hit my head what i want to do in my life... Oncology nursing is something i have not really thought about though I can't deny there is no possibility... Its nice but i dunno. I am just confused about what i want to do with my life. Time will tell... I always beleived that. You will know what u want to do when the time comes... I am after all just a 20 year old girl/lady trying to find what suits me best.
So far i only thought of becoming a midwife... and maybe when i become very senior to go on overseas projects to 3rd world countries like mission trips or humanitarian trips...
In spite of this , i never regretted coming to oncology nursing. It has been one heck of a roller coasdter ride. But now i can fling my hands up when riding the rollercoaster.
And I shall close this entry with a verse I suddenly thought of. I need God in my life... I really do. The past few months have been the most empty period of my life without God... like a empty vaccuum until i feel so terrible miserable inside... On the outside i look very happy... busy with work, going out on off days... catching up with family and friends but i felt empty all the way... I thought i could survive without him but i really need him in my life. I need him to take control of my life to restore my passion, enthusiasm in life to help me touch the lives of others. I need him! I need his wise teachings to guide my life...
Hehe... enough talk. This is the verse I thought off when i was confused about my future...
Matthew 6: 33-34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each trouble has enough trouble of its own.
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