Just came back from work at around 6 and i feel so exhausted... Today initially we had plans to celebrate my dad's birthday which is tomorrow... But I guess my dad had his plans... so I guess we will just celebrate it some other day...
I just have the urge to drink coke and eat potato chips and eat myself to my death which is exactly what i am doing now...May i become a big fat pig one day...
I think one day i might eventually fall sick from this lifestyle... i was looking into the mirror and i no longer have the pinkness from my cheeks... I look rather pale. There are eye bags under my eyes and i look so haggard. Today from the time i woke up to now i only ate one cup of instant noodles (which i brought to work) . Now i feel hungry yet have no apetite... Maybe one day I may be a patient in the ward...
Today one of my patients wanted to give me a basket of fruits but i refused it cause i dun like receiving gifts unless the patient has been discharged... She told me, she does not know how to thank me for taking care of her although she find herself very troublesome... I told her if she wants to thank me, she must get well then i dun mind receiving her gifts...
Another patient who was sort of ok yesterday , condition deteriorated drastically today as the cancer cells had spread to the spine and brain... Then the doctor was saying to be prepared for the worst... as the cancer had already spread too far to other organs.... Then 20 over ppl came to visit that patient (who was sorta confused) and they were all crying... I feel so sad when i see ppl crying. Sometimes i feel like crying along with them, and for a moment i almost did...
I dunno why i am suddenly saying all this out but i just feel like it.
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