Friday, July 28 NEW MP3 PLAYER>Today I bought a mp3 player for myself.. Its a samsung model and it looks like a chocolate bar.. I am extremely fascinated with this new apparatus... Now I am charging it first . Maybe later I can sort out all my songs I want inside... Yippee... hehe...
Anyways had a really joyous time with my friends this evening... though it feels sad that we are all going different directions in life and its hard to get everyone together sometimes...
When I start working, off days are the days i look forward to... My off days are really fully utilised. I seldom stay at home or try not to unless I am really really tired and need a rest. i find nowadays i rather go out with a few close friends rather then a big group of okok friends... maybe its true when they said that when u start work, ur circle of friends become smaller. U just want to spend time with someone u are comfortable with... hehe... Maybe cause i am still adapting to working life and shift work ba.
Nowadays everyday is the same to me... i can hardly remember what day of the week it is cause I dun have a monday to friday job... sometimes I even work on saturdays and sundays (which sucks). I guess this needs a bit of getting used to... Chan also told me I look as if I have been losing weight. I guess sometimes i skip my meals though I know I am not suppose to do that. But sometimes there is too much work to do until i am unable to go for breaks.
This sunday will be going out with Angelina to watch "The Lake House" after work... really looking forward to it.
KNOWLEGE IS POWER>Today is my off day, and i am reading up on a book called "Oncology Nursing in Practice". Its quite good cause it explains on anything about cancer from from the basics , radiation therapy , chemotherapy to the different diagnosis and different treatment. I decided to read up on this book cause i find myself very ignorant when i go to work. I know my patients have cancer but i dunno what sort of management to give them or how to handle the signs and symtoms of chemotherapy... I guess I am the more of a practical person, yet sometimes my theory is not really very good...
Currently i am reading up on a chapter on radiation therapy. I feel rather blur when they explain on the physics of radiation (which i think i learnt in secondary school physics which i totally gave back to my beloved Lee KS.) So I skipped a portion of it and jumped directly to radiotherapy as a intervention which i guess is the most important thing.
And here is a comment i really want to add in... i really miss secondary school though i was rather a outcaste... hehe...
Yesterday I went out with my mum and we went to a place called Liang Court... She wanted to buy a certain special sort of charcoal from japan from this special oak tree that is suppose to get rid of smells and purify the air... i heard from some other ppl its pretty effective.... Now i have a bowl of charcoal in my room... Tea leaves is also a very good absorber of smells. I put a packet of tea leaves in my cupboard... Haha.. maybe ppl reading this may think i am weird...
Later on, will be meeting up with Jacq, Chan, Eve and Alina to eat Subway then sing K Box... i dun mind going home a bit later today since tomorrow is afternoon shift but jacq wants to go off earlier since this month is seventh month.
And I guess its back to work tomorrow. now I feel rather neutral about it... Work is work... can't say I dislike it. In fact i enjoy myself but i do seperate work and play... though sometimes i try to mix them together to make life easier.
Thursday, July 27 DEATH AND LOVE>Recently I find myself gradually changing in person... i dunno whether its a good thing or not... I have leaRNt to take it easy whatever happens , to remain calm under all circumstances (I am still working on that) and to accept anything that comes to me if I can't change it... I guess in life there are alot of things that dun really go ur way... U can't stop it from happening but u can change ur response. In my work place i see death like no ones business, I see people suffering to their last breath, i see people crying , I see people accepting christ on their death bed... But I dun feel sad ... just something that I have sort of accepted.Neither do i feel bitter or hard. I sort of feel peaceful, cause they are no longer suffering. I think the only thing that sustains me is my joy in being with these people that need so much comfort in the last journey of their lives.
I have been listening to this song called Cai Hong Tian Tang... I used to feel how nice if I could just die and be free from all troubles... Hopefully I go to heaven. What would heaven be like . Would I be able to see rainbows... haha... sounds rather lame... To me rainbows signify hope so i feel extremely hopeful when i see them. However i have not seen a rainbow for a rather long time. Then when i started work and see so many deaths and people struggling for their lives I feel rather foolish... My mindset has not changed but i just live from day to day and try to live the bestest i can ( grammatically incorrect... but who cares)...
Hopefully I get to live long enough to experiece love... haha. i think girls just like the feeling of being loved, for someone to accept them for who they are. Unfortunately i guess maybe most people love for the sake of being loved, or maybe to show off their latest fling to their friends (I have no idea)... To me love is accepting each other for their good and not so good qualities to support each other in good times and bad. I can't say I 100 percent believe in true love nowadays. I can only say I have one story to tell about true love. Its sounds too good to be true but its true. Hopefully i find this sort of love.
I used to have this patient ( lets just call her jane). Then she had end stage cancer and already amputated her leg and her chemo had made her drop all her hair... So when she was in my ward she was rather serious already.. She had a sacral sore from sitting on the bed too long, she had become confused and she could not eat with her mouth, she had to be fed thru tube feeding... Every day her husband would come over after workand he would actually bring clothes to change and sleep in the hospital... Then everyime i needed to clean her up or change her diapers he would always help me and i so admired his gentleness to her. Everyitme he would voluntarily do the tube feeding. Then sometimes i could see him sleeping and holding on to her hand, sometimes i could see him praying for her until he actually cried... One day when i was attending to another patient... on the day before jane passed away i could hear him say to her, "Don't worry about us, I will take care of our 3 children, If u feel tired u can just go on first, I promise i will be strong. And knowing u has been the most wonderful period of my life. I love you" I know i am not supposed to eavedrop but its so touching... like something that happens in the shows... For someone to love u for who u are and goes thru thick and thin with u. To love u though u are balding, crippled . I still beleives true love exists because of this... it just probably wun come to me... haha. Or hopefully i dun have to get cnacer to expereince it.
I guess the superficial love ppl experience nowadays (not everyone) is very small compared to this sort of love. And this is the sort of love i guess most girls (i dunno about guys... they are another species) are looking for. Sometimes they dun get that so sometimes they just love for the sake of feeling loved.
Haha.. i think i better stop here before i get confused with words... Its easy to understand but difficult to comprehend. I would just like to wish everyone that they may find true love in their lives.!!!
Wednesday, July 26 FATIGUED>After nine days straight of working, i finally get my off day... i feel so tired worn out from all the shift work and lack of sleep...Just slept 4 hours straight when i came back... going to sleep more... Last night only had 2 hours of sleep cause had to study for a test on IV medications which was today. Btw I find myself rather jinxed. Everytime i am on shift, there will be people passing away. It happened 3 times in 5 days... Dunno whether it is a good thing ot bad thing... Good cause they are finally away from suffering... Bad cause I have to clean up dead bodies...
Tomorrow might be going out with my mum to go shopping or just hang out... Never go out with her for ages...
Saturday, July 15 BUSY DAY>Today I am having afternoon shift. I woke up with a pimple on my cheek. I think its because the past few days have been damn stressful. Yesterday I was the one and only junior for 12 patients. It was really busy until i did not even have the time to go for my break. But its definately not as stressful as doing in charge work cause junior work is something I am familiar with. However, its definately more physically demanding. But i still like it cause there is more patient contact.
I developed my own schedule for afternoon shift junior work
Come on duty early and get to know ur each and every patient well. Do ur delegated duties such as counting equipment, controlled drugs, stat drugs or resus trolley
1.15: Central report 1.30: Make rounds with the actual in charge which i dun really follow that closely cause she is super fast ( I already made my own rounds) 1.35: Take report from previous shift, take note of diagnosis of every patient, and things to note, any special mentions, look through clinical charts. Take note of who need hour monitoring or need to record intake output, or who is on ventolin... etc... if previous shift never finish updating them question them 2: Do parameters, update some charts 2.30: pREPARE DRIPS NEEDED FOR THE DAY 2.45: Do a round of changing diapers, update charts again if able to 3-5: This period is actually a period in which the day is rather stagnant, unless, there are patient admissions, collapse... etc... Do what u are supposed to do like tube feeding, give ventolin (a time in which we can follow the staff nurse and maybe do some skills) 5.30: Blood Glucose monitoring 5.30- 6.15: Do Parameters and update all charts 6.15- 7: Serve diet, update intake output, maybe can go for fast break when they eating 7-9.30: Tube feeding,,, any nitty gritty things u have not done, answer call bells, update charts for next shift handover, changing second round of pampers... maybe can help to serve meds with the staff nurse if really free (but not rwally possible when u are the only one). Help to check again all drips are running, maintain a good atmosphere in the rooms that u are in...
Haha... this is my own schedule i planned. It seems like the perfect thing for me when I am doing junior work... haha... But usually life is not as simple as it seems... There are things that crop up here and there...
# posted by Jolyn |
12:40 AM
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Monday, July 10 MOODY MOOD>Now I am feeling damn moody. And the worst thing is I dunno why I am moody for, just feel very short tempered and irritable now... What the hell is wrong with me. Do i have some psychological illness... Haiz... I just vented a bit of my irritation on my brother when he tried to come into my room when i was packing it... I told him now to come into my room in a harsh tone. Now I think he is angry at me... Haiz.. why am I the way I am . I am such an unbalanced person...
~ Me ~
Name; Jolyn Choo
Age: 19 years
Birthday: December 30
School: Nanyang Poly SHS Nursing Year 3
Place of Work: SGH
CCA: NYP TKd, Geo Council, CSC
~ Loves ~
- rainbows
- smiles on ppl's faces
- food!
- surprises!
- letters
- watching stars at night
- lilies
- tv
~ Loathes ~
- cockroaches
- heights
- backstabbers
- boredom (nothing to do)
~ Wishlist ~
- to be a great nurse
- to have a happy and healthy family
- to be contented and be able to enjoy simple pleasures of life
- to see a rainbow
- lots of food everyday
- to save more money to buy clothes
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