Was feeling rather depressed today. I guess everyone of us has their down days now and then... This was just an inner turmoil. People outside sometimes dun know whats going in inside me or what i am thinking. But actually i rather they not know. But I was really sad and I listened to this song which I got from "At Dolphin Bay" soundtrack. its supposedly a taiwanese drama series but the song is christian.
Its called Journey written and sung by Corrine may
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Coze it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you...to you
I can even sing this song until i remember the lyrics.
Sometimes as a human being there are bound to be pessimistic or negative thoughts from the situations in life. its not exactly a wonderful world . in fact it can be quite shitty... And its a normal thing to be down sometimes. But Just as the song says Satan mocks me and uses this to control my thoughts. And sometimes its not the event that kills but the thoughts that kill.
I have seen how thought can ruin a person... It does not affect one single person but rather everyone... People will always be in Satan's clutches...
Then I remembered something i learnt in church
we cannot let ourself be tossed here and there by the evil ones..subjecting ourselves to Satan's clutches, we shud realli stand up boldly, with the authorit and power GIVEN to us b the heavenly father..
and be strong against Satan..
then once he sees that u are a child of God and not easily to be bullied, he'll leave u alone
I suddenly remember the significance of one of the verses I read.
To keep me from being conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messanger of Satan, to torment me. Three times i pleaded with God to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong.
Corinthians 12 : 7-10
I think i am a sinful person cause humans are sinful. I lie, I procrastinate, i curse... I even lied to my cell group leader cause i dun feel like going church tomorrow. Sometimes i find life is so hard to be totally honest and pure in thoughts as God wants us to be... So sometimes I dun feel good enough for being God' Child...
Anyways tomorrow will be meeting up with angelina . She agreed to accompany me to pasir ris park. Then we can eat dinner under the stars at the beach there. I even told her I will bring my song book so we can sing songs... Err,, hopefully it makes up for lying to my cell group leader. hehe... i feel guilty.
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