Today was a tiring day at work. Yesterday was afternoon shift and today was morning... I was really like a zombie this morning. PRCP is wat I call a bit freaky... The thought that I am going to pass out as a staff nurse, and I still have alot alot of things to learn. I also feel its not enough to learn the basics but learn more cause knowlege is power...
I saw this staff nurse, when she was doing any procedure on the patient, at the same time she would be explaining to the patient about his condition, about the effects of the medication on the body (pharmacokinetics). I find my knowlege so meagre compared to them. How can I be a successful nurse with such meagre knowlege...
Today I was also bed sponging one of my patients with one of the family members. I was really impressed with the daughter's love and patience for the mother (patient)... She was not scared of getting her hands dirty with shit... and talked to the mother with such love and concern. I told her its a pity she did not become a nurse and she told me after this experience of her mother getting cancer, she would willingly offer her services to any hospice. Then she said alot of things u would not understand unless u really go thru it. U would not understand the pain of seeing someone slowly degenerate before ur body and slowly and painfully leave u... Even though nurses have skills, yet alot dun have that understanding. I dare to say I dun have that understanding too... But sometimes I would rather not know this cruel aspect of life.
Life is really very brittle... One of my favorite patients is expected to pass away soon. I remember just last week I was just happily chatting with her. But now a tumour is pressing on her intestines and her intestines are coming out thru the stoma. The staff nurse said if there is a chance that her whole intestines should come out dun panic, just wrap a plastic over it. Anyways I was measuring her blood pressure and its slowly going weaker and weaker... Will there be a miracle or ...
Its sad to face death... Sometimes I cannot accept it... how can something we treasure so much be taken away from u so suddenly.
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