Today or should I say yesterday is quite a spectacular day for me. How should i explain it... I will just start when I went to church yesterday on sunday morning. I have not gone to church for a month already lor. So i feel damn guilty to show my face in front of my cell... but good thing today there is no cell at all... just service. And there is this speaker from somewhere else who teaches us on the power of prayer. The whole sermon was basically about Luke 11 : jesus teaching about prayer. There is no formula on the perfect prayer rather its the posture of the heart thats of utmost importance. And the key point is when praying God will give u the holy spirit which is the gift of god or something like that. Then i was like... , why do i need the holy spirit for (though i know its good ... theoretically). Nevertheless the speaker is convincing enough so i take his words for it.
So I went home and continued studying and there was a point when i reached point 0 and nothing could get into my head, no mood and 0 concentration level. Even when ppl try to encourage me it can't sink in... I have to admit I am rarely like that. So I sort of reach a state of anxiety. Then I decided i should stop and rest for awhile... After that, i was just slacking around and lying on my mom's bed when i thought of praying. I did not pray for the exams specificially, rather i just prayed that the holy spirit will come and guide me now, cause i really feel helpless and vulnerable. A few moments after when i was still lying down and about to sleep there is this verse that flashed in my mind.
Philipians 3: 6-8
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guide your hearts and minds in Christ jesus.
Woah i had no idea i still remembered that verse. Shocked that it suddenly popped in my brain i just slacked for a while b4 eating and then watching a bit of tv. After coming back to my studies i suddenly felt this weird energetic surge in me to study and my hands were feeling warm . Ok maybe ppl would say i was hyper after eating but its a really extraordinary feeling . And I felt alot of joy in my heart. I really dunno how to describe the feeling but its really indescribable. I mean i got tonnes of work to finish. But that time i suddenly felt the interest in studying was there . Different from wat i was feeling b4. Then b4 i went to sleep i reached a point that I was so happy i even sang myself to sleep. (I know ppl must be saying must send this girl to imh already)
Ok, then comes the freaky part. I was sleeping and i reached a point when i got a nightmare. In the dream I am in my own room doing something. Then i see someone in the mirror reflection looking back at me. Then the person suddenly comes out and grabs hold of me and pulls me down on the floor. I try to struggle and fight against it. But funnily i can't seem to wake up though i try, and i can't move at all, and when i try to scream, nothing comes out. This is seriously not the first time I had these sort of dreams. In fact it happened a few times to me since secondary school. Then I just tried to pray and pray and started singing "Shout to the lord". But this time the thing said " Surrender to the devil"....It was damn freakky but then i continue praying lor. And after a while the thing disappeared and i woke up in a rahter terrified state.
Actually i wouldn't say i am stressed out. In fact i feel quite fine and calm now. I mean i admit i had anxious thoughts some part of the day but that was just now... Maybe I am too tired ba...
Hehe. going to go back sleep now.. ciao!!!
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