Sunday, February 26 >Today when I was shopping for bbq stuff at Carreforr with eve, I saw them selling keyboards. I really really want to buy and learn how to play... Hopefully its not the spur of the moment. I always wanted to learn since I was a kid... # posted by Jolyn |
12:40 PM
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Friday, February 24 A bEAUTIFUL MIND>Why is it people after crushing life experiences, genetics, or some other factors end up in a mental hospital. I really ask why... None of them I believe in their heart would like to be there. Sometimes i feel like helping them but what could I as a nurse do in this short time period. I am not their family member. Even if I give them a word of encouragement at this point of time they might meet other setbacks and become even more serious in their conditions. Some are hidden in their own world. I would really like to catch hold of them (not literally) and pull them back out, some have split personality disorders, some have delusions and hallucinations, some are aggressive and violent over the slightest things... but why is it they have it... their must be a reason why they are in this state. Is it because of this cruel cruel world. Sometimes they feel no one in the world cares for them. I am starting to like my time in the ward although i have gotten scratched, shouted vulgarities, proposed to, almost kena molested (this part is totally unacceptable). I think it has made me grow to accept anyone unconditionally (though its not too possible). I have learnt that sometimes besides talking, its impt to listen wat they have to say (sometimes nonsensical stuff). I suppose inside everyone is someone waiting to be discovered.
Can I pray a little prayer. Pray that everyone will be healthy and happy cause I think its really impt. Not only physical health, but mentally too... This world is sometimes a tough and cruel world to be in , but pray for strength for everyone. That they will be able to lead meaningful lives and find that light in the world or the light of their lives. This is a sincere prayer from the bottom of my heart.
Wednesday, February 15 >Happy valentines day to all those ppl out there... may you be with the one u love, be it family members, friends or loved ones. I used to spend valentines day going out with my friends and we would give each other flowers on that day but i suppose that is all in the past. She has her own life and her own friends. Anyways whatever it is, life still goes on... so let me tell u about my week.
These 2 weeks starting from this week is spent in IMH. What should I say, its a mentally challenging place to be in. I like it yet I am not really used to it here. Time passes extremely slow here. I was thinking maybe could plan some activities but i am not really good at planning (only in playing... haha...). Here ppl are well and about, the problem is with their minds... so a big part plays in communication and interaction. Today there was a patient that asked me to be his girlfriend. Its pretty freaky to hear that from a mentally unsound cheeky looking ah pek (not exactly my taste). He said I am very charming and attractive. Its funny that i only seem attractive to mentally unsound ppl... haha... maybe i am one of them ba... haha!!! I think i will have to be cautious when talking to him, give some personal space and dun give him so much attention. I cannot tolerate this sort of behaviour...
And we have nice nurses to guide us who are willing to answer any questions we have in mind. My fellow school mates who are with me such as Chan, Lolitha, Mei Yan , Ling Yun etc. and the ITE students nurses are nice too. Its quite a nice feeling to have ppl to look to or rely on in times of need. Nobody likes to be alone and during this attachment we always have each other. It will be a different feeling during PRCP when they most likely put us alone to train us to be independent.
From this attachment I would really like to thank Chan for guiding me. This place is surely her forte. She is always there to remind me to do stuff and tell me to grab hold of my time to do my care plan. I think she is a damn responsible and hard working girl. Though sometimes I feel like slacking and lazing around but when i see her so harworking i feel guilty for doing so, so i will just follow along. Afterall, I am doing something good for myself... Haha!!! Thanks girl for making me always be on my feet and helping me along. Hope she will find her valentines soon...
Monday, February 13 >Its freaking late but i still can't get to sleep. Most probably due to the fact that I had a nice long nap in the afternoon... I still have to go IMH tomorrow from 8 to 4 tomorrow. Anyways I have been well rested during the weekend and I dun regret not going for the camp cause i think if I went I would be pushing myself too much and I would not like it to affect my attachment performance. Taekwondo is important to me but not as important as alot of other things in my life.
Today I skipped church service and went directly for cell... its a nice experience combining with the guys though I still dun really talk to them that much. Then after that went to another house as we are holding a farewell party for rachel.
Yippee. I think sleep is coming to me soon, so i better hop right into bed now b4 i become a moody grouchy zombie tomorrow!
Friday, February 10 HECTIC PROJECT!!!>I am sooo damn tired these past few days cause of a very rushy last minute project... Have been doing a couple of posters and a mind map mostly at home at night until quite late at night... Last night practically only had 3 hours of sleep and I was cursing why the heck I had so much work to do until i feel i can't finish. When I woke up i was still feeling very tired. And to make matters worse I got my period today! Its so sickening. The whole day was having my cramps... I really dunno whether to go for the camp tomorrow cause i seriously need to rest from this hectic lifestyle, and to get ready for attachment next week plus lastly its not really that nice to train with cramps... Fluctuation hormone changes and inadequate sleep really dun go hand in hand. In fact the results are quite disastrous... I am not the sort of person that can survive on 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night. To me must get at least 6 or 7 to be refreshed... My mood was really really bad today. Normally, small little surprises like floppy discs not working or losing a bit of data are still ok but today my whole face went black... I think my group they all noticed cause they kept on asking jenny about me, but i did not really want to talk to them. Then jenny sorta helped make things better by helping me out... thanks to her! You know sometimes u need someone there to get u back on track at finishing the task at hand and not focusing on my mood or feelings at that time.. Then after that jiang yan also offered to help type my part after i summarised it. I was quite touched too... Now I only have my references to finish and a bit more of my final poster to decorate. Later I will be going to jenny's house void deck to discuss with her our role play. I hope all goes well tomorrow!
Thursday, February 9 >Now at home trying to stuff info for the test into my sleepy head (especially after a heavy lunch... oh darn). Test is at 5 but i am pretty much cool and calm about it (so far). After the test will be going for the chinese cultural group performance and maybe at night start rushing my prohjects (oh... darn again).
Verna just called me cause her group sgh bonded ppl get to pick their wards already. She was asking me what other choices she has cause she couldn't think of more than 2. seriously speaking I have not really been thinking about it... I just pray that God's will be done in my life and he will lead me where he wants me to go. There is somewhere I really dun feel like going (wun mention it here) but if its his will I will accept it.... everything has a reason. Now that I think about it the places I would like to go to are
Ward 47 : Colorectal surgery Ward 58: general Surgery Ward 48: Oncology Medical Ward 53: Gynae/Obstretrics
What i dun mind: Ward 64???, A and E (unlikely). However nothing is confirmed so i will continue prayng about it.
Friday, February 3 >Today i am damn tired, as in physically mentally... I just feel like stoning. nothing comes in and nothing goes out... I suppose I wasted a perfectly beautiful day for being like this. Projects and tests are coming up but I just feel so unprepared... it can be said that i sorta feel stressed... with so many upcoming events, i just dunno whether I can finsh my work on time. Tomorrow our class is taking a picture for graduation and me and alina discussed that we would wear nice nice (maybe our new year clothes)... haha. but a bit awkward wearing skirt in school.. since I am not a very skirtish girl...
Thursday, February 2 >Back to school after a long cny fatty holidays.. feels good but then also a bit no mood to go back too... I think I only have less than 20 days in school... Havn't really been counting... after all nothing exciting much to look forward to (if u look at it pessimistically). Today came to school with Verna... she's damn farnie man... she was gloating to me that she cound play her playstation until 4 am in the morning for the few days holiday and indicated its damn shiok. And i presume she did not have enough sleep cause she actually thought today is monday when its actually wednesday... so she is actually supposed to be in school at 9, but when i met her at her bus stop it was already 8.55 cause monday lesson starts at 10... But i god bless her cause in the end her 9 am tutorial was cancelled... and she wasn't considered absent. So she does not have to mar her 100 % attendence record for the pass 3 years (wow!)
And she reminded me of something i did in secondary school which was damn farnie when i think about it now... last time in sec. school i learnt physics and my physics teacher was damn fierce and his lessons are damn boring just no on dares to yawn (for fear of being scolded). One day, i think he was in a bad mood then when he asked a question no one wanted to answer... cause everyone was really tired in the afternoon. After asking the class 2 times and getting no answer he yelled at everyone and asked us all to stand up and tell him why we dun want to answer question. Most ppl just said they could not hear (a bit nonsensical since he talk so loud).. then when he came to me I just said... " Sorry, teacher I was day dreaming." I think I heard some laughter from behind for being so damn honest... in the end I got a yelling... haha.. but who cares at least i am honest enough to admit his lesson is so boring i can day dream in it... i can bet a 100 dollars almost half of my class mates were not listening and thinking of other things... Thinking back I think if it was me now I would say the same thing... off course maybe at least try to listen and pay attention in class... I guess this is a part of me that has not changed since.
~ Me ~
Name; Jolyn Choo
Age: 19 years
Birthday: December 30
School: Nanyang Poly SHS Nursing Year 3
Place of Work: SGH
CCA: NYP TKd, Geo Council, CSC
~ Loves ~
- rainbows
- smiles on ppl's faces
- food!
- surprises!
- letters
- watching stars at night
- lilies
- tv
~ Loathes ~
- cockroaches
- heights
- backstabbers
- boredom (nothing to do)
~ Wishlist ~
- to be a great nurse
- to have a happy and healthy family
- to be contented and be able to enjoy simple pleasures of life
- to see a rainbow
- lots of food everyday
- to save more money to buy clothes
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