Happy birthday to me (yesterday)! Although it was my birthday but i dun feel as if i look a year older. My sister still said I look like a child that has not gone thru puberty yet... haiz... anyways i can't really change that fact right. Just have to live with myself.
Anyways i already told the person I used to like I liked him. Actually I wasn't expecting anything, and i because of that reason i didn't get anything... I still dun understand his cool answer. It seems he did not really bother about what I say. But in the first place why would he. Anyways really thanks to him for letting me say what I want to say b4 the end of this year. Some ppl call me brave but sometimes I feel rather foolish. Its because I want to be a person with no regrets that I do what I want to do. Now i feel I have put down a load on my back and can continue my journey but somehow putting down the load needs a bit of getting used to so I may be a bit sad at first but i will still go on... I am after all just a human being with emotions. Thanks to that person really, thank you!
Looking back I guess I have changed alot and grown in some ways. Sort have come out of my minor depressive state that I used to be in. Learnt new things but at the same time lost some things. Went thru setbacks but at the same time experienced alot. But i guess this is all life. Maybe I am a realist but this is what I learnt to be like. To survive in a place like this and work in my sort of job. But I know deep inside I am still the same old me... I am Jolyn no matter where I go... and i always believe I am god's child just like u and me...
Looking forward I am sort of scared, sort of anxious, sort of nervous. Can i make it in the world out there. Is there a place I really belong. I suppose I am better off than alot of other cause I am given a job straight after I graduate. But I will sometimes think whether am I up to it. I have 7 more weeks in school now. I will really treaure them... after that will be one week study break and one week exam, followed by 2 weeks attachment in mental hospital. After which will be our final attachment PRCP for 6 weeks. After that we will have to start work. Really seems like next year will be a challenge but I have to go thru it. Its not a matter of trying my best, but i must do it.
But there is this verse that goes something like. Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. And a song by the name of "I don't know about tomorrow". The last sentence is "Many things about tomorrow i dun seem to understand, but I know who knows tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand". I guess maybe saying this I might be a little bit more fortunate than others cause I know who holds my hand... haha (talking crap now).
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